Checked off the list

--Taught last class of the semester

--Dropped my summer contract off at the Grad Office

--Picked up my CT films from the hospital (by the way... they're pretty sweet to look at)

--Went to MRI Center to have PET scan. Once there I was injected *ouch* with a radioactive sugar mixture and then had to sit for an hour. After letting the isotope go through my body for that hour, I lay in the scanning device for a 25 minutes with my arms over my head while it took pictures every four minutes. Was then told I could not get close to any pregnant women or babies because I would be slightly radioactive for the next eight hours.

--Went to Panera and Target with the girls and had a great time. It is so nice to get some lady talk time. I really need more of that.

--Ceased being radioactive at 11:00pm.

I don't want to go...

I've been crying all day... I'm so terrified of needles.

Think of me today at 1pm.

What a busy, crazy, insane week!

Yesterday started crappy and ended really nice.

To start, I went to teach my class, which I've been teaching all semester... in the same room... and the door was locked. Why? Who knows! So I had to teach in a room next door.

Then I was really stressed out about some other class-related matters.

BUT --- then I went to my thesis defense. It went really well. I was so worried that I was going to have trouble explaining myself (because my poetry is anything but traditional) and the reasons that I choose to take certain paths in my poetry... but really, once I sat down, everything was easy. So, I passed and so did Nicholas (whose thesis defense was also easier than he expected).

Nicholas then took me out to eat one of my favorite foods -- SUSHI! And it was so good.

A medical update: I had my bone density scan on Monday -- the radiologist said that my hip was average density, but my lumbar vertabrae were on the lower side of the density scale. Whether I have to take any corrective medicine will be up to my doctor.

Tomorrow I have my PET scan. They are going to give me an IV in my hand -- which I am thoroughly terrified about. I hate hate hate needles and usually turn into a three year old little girl when I see one or even think about one. Then I have to sit for an hour to let the dye make it all the way through my body, and then I have to sit in a machine for a half hour. *sigh*

I'm worried. I know the doctor said everything will probably be fine... but I can't help but be a little worried that the results will come back with bad results.

Anyway, some of my tension is released now that the thesis defense is over and what not.

I just...

--graded 46 poems in a row, and now I have only 44 to go! I will grade the rest over the weekend...

--Went to the doctor. Well, actually, I went earlier this evening. I get to schedule my PET scan and Bone Density Scan tomorrow. While at the doctor, I had to get my vitals checked by the nurse first. While I was there she weighed me and I've gained about 10 pounds since my last visit, which wasn't so long ago. She left the room and came back with a pamphlet called "The Activity Pyramid" and said I should read it... *sigh* My doctor is making me schedule an appointment with a dietician as well, he says my weight isn't so bad right now, but the fact that I've gained so much so rapidly (30 pounds since October -- the last ten in the last couple months) that I should probably get it under control so I don't gain anymore.

I'm tired of buying new pants and outgrowing them a couple months later. In December I went up two pant sizes... and now... those jeans don't fit. I need to buy higher sizes again. And when I tried on dresses... I was trying on size 12 and 14 --- and the lady told me one dress had a "nice slimming effect" which is way different for me considering I've been pretty small all my life, so I've never been told that before. I always wanted to gain weight when I was smaller... just not quite so much, so quickly. I wouldn't mind so much maybe if I had time to get used to each size a little bit. I am getting better at hiding it... nobody seems to notice unless I'm wearing something tight.

So anyway, I guess I'm going to be getting more "active" by following the "activity pyramid."

Sorry to complain... It's just something that's really really bothering me right now. I'm sure I'll get used to it. I just need time...

unwell

I have been feeling sick all day long. For some reason, I have gone back and forth between lightheadedness and nausea since around noon.

Since I was a little girl, whenever I feel sick at my stomach I crave banana popsicles. They make me feel refreshed, they cool me down, and they help my stomach feel better for a little bit. Strangely enough... while looking for a picture for my general "I'm sick" blog... I stumbled across this image:





















So I went to the website and checked it out... it's really interesting.

The body amazes me... it knows what to do to make itself feel better even though if I, don't know why. I just think that's so awesome.

I'm going to go eat another one...

04/19/06 1:25am

Thesis COMPLETELY finished! :)














Now, I just have to go grade some students' poems and I can go to bed.

Wedding Stuff...

I love making wedding plans! I tried on some wedding dresses this past weekend when my parents were in town. I found two that are possibilities. Obviously, I can't go into detail about them because the groom reads this blog. :) But I will say they are beautiful and I can't wait to try on more.

I am now looking for bridesmaid dresses -- Nicholas and I are torn between two color schemes: Brown and Baby blue or Burgundy and Baby Blue. I'm leaning more toward the brown side the more I think about it.

Here are some of my choices for bridesmaid dresses:

1)
I like the band of blue against the dark brown on this dress. The maid of honor's dress would likely be the inverse of this, while the other bridesmaids wore this one.

















2)
I like the brown dress, not the white one. But the shawl/wrap would be baby blue on one side and brown on the other. With this one, the maid of honor and bridesmaids would wear the same dress, but the maid of honor would wear the brown side of the shawl/ wrap out, while the other bridesmaids would wear the blue side...














3)
I just think this dress is so elegant and beautiful!


















4)
And finally, I like the width of the bottom of this dress. It really says spring to me.


















I am still looking, and there are lots of dresses to choose from, and heck... we could change the colors again... but these are some of my ideas. Let me know what you think.

P.S. Thanks to The Knot for helping me find dresses!

A Bunch of Bull

My parents were in town this weekend. It was nice to have them around, but I have so much to catch up on now since I didn't get to do any work while they were here.

I have to finish my thesis this week... which is not turning out to be as easy as I had hoped it would be. I have reviews to write and an annotated bibliography to finish. I have meetings with students and lots of grading to do. I also have to memorize a poem and one to write for class this evening.

I don't feel like I can write anything. I am trying to... but nothing is coming out right. Today I am thinking of bulls and I can't get them out of my head. So... I might try to work them into the poem... but everything I think of feels hokey. I think I might explode.

Hmm...

Sometimes when you are having a really frustrating day... good news does come. I just got an email from NDR and they want one of my poems for their summer issue. It was a definite ray of sunshine this evening.

01:02:03 04/05/06

Today at one 'o' two and three seconds, that was officially the time and date 01:02:03 04/05/06 and that will not happen again until the year 3006.

Anyway... I'm in a contemplative mood right now... or maybe a frustrated mood is more like it. Whenever I find time to think, I resort to negative thinking -- it's my curse.

I'm also in this weird "can't send out submissions" phase... Since I have no idea where I will be three and a half months from now, I can't send anything out. I'm afraid if I do, that I will miss hearing news from someplace.

It's a little frustrating, because I only have a few packets circulating right now and I feel like I need to have more out at one time.

I am also very frustrated by the lack of job situation... I know it is all I ever talk about (complain about is probably more appropriate) but it is seriously terrifying to think that I have spent all this time earning degrees and may still have to resolve myself to the secretary world just to make ends meet. Of course, there is nothing wrong with being a secretary, I was one for a long time and it was a great job... it just isn't what I had in mind when I began planning out my career path.

The other day I started thinking about going to beauty school... but then I decided against that.
Then I thought about becoming a realtor... but then I decided against that.

So I guess it's going to have to be a simple adjunct job that pays little and a humble apartment to begin my family.

*sigh*

And maybe, just maybe, there will still be some good news to come...

Fiancee Knowles and Mr. Groombastic

While uploading the picture of my haircut... I uploaded this cute picture of the bears Nick and I built right after we were engaged. We built the bride bear at Myrtle Beach and the groom bear when we came home.

We named them Fiancee Knowles and Mr. Groombastic. Aren't they cute?

I'm getting so excited for this wedding and I still have such a long time to wait. The planning is starting off well. We've actually got a lot accomplished considering we still have over a year until the wedding. If we could be certain of the money situation-- I would totally love to get married sooner.

Per Julie's Request...

This is the best picture I took.

I'm thinking the next step is highlights (in the summer) but I'm still not 100% about that.