Lately, I haven't felt like there's a whole lot to be thankful for. If you are a regular to this blog, or my twitter, facebook, etc., you have probably figured out that things haven't been going so swimmingly lately. I won't go into details, but the short version is: my father is gone; my sister left; and my mother and brother now live alone. It's weird. It's not like going home anymore. My mother, who is normally so perky and happy, is not, and I feel like I'm breaking in two whenever I see her that way.
So today was Thanksgiving at my mom's house. It was a strange day. I knew the time was going to come to go around the table to "give thanks" and I was dreading it. As I said before, I'm not very thankful lately. It's hard to not feel abandoned by God at these moments in time. But this isn't about God. This is about what I'm thankful for. My speech at the table was much less enthusiastic and probably did nothing more than draw attention to the emptiness around us. But, I've had some time to think today and feel better about giving thanks for a few very important things.
My husband. He has been the STRONGEST support for me through all of this. I don't know what I would have done without him by my side. But more than that, he's taught me what it means to live for someone. He is the reason I wake up every morning... He is the love of my life and I am more than thankful for him.
My brother. I've written about my brother before. He is strong. He provides for his family and doesn't complain. I love him very much and thank God every day for him.
My sister. She is a spitfire. She drives me crazy. But, sometimes I need that craziness to help focus me and get my mind off of other things.
My grandmother. She has become a very important part of my life. She has stuck by our side and given my mother a mountain of support. I am so thankful for that.
My mother. If you've never met her, it will be difficult for you to see this as more than a daughter talking lovingly about her mother... but it is so much more than that. When she dies, my mother should be declared a saint. She has put up with so much in her life and has somehow managed to keep her faith and happiness through so much of it. I am thankful for her smiles, which I see coming back slowly. I am thankful to have her as not just a mother, but a friend. I couldn't make it through this life without her.