Wednesday, November 23, 2005

My predictions for this weekend

a) A total of two fights with my grandmother this weekend. One between her and my father and one between her and the rest of the family.

b) A total of four fights between me and my father. Three of these fights will be small - probably during a board game or a trip to the grocery store. One will be gigantic, at which time I will threaten to come back home (to OH).

c) My mother will make us all say what we are thankful for at least twice on Thanksgiving day, and probably once the day after.

d) My brother will be gone the morning of his birthday "taking care of business" he will call it. (He is turning 21).

e) My mother will wake me every morning at 9am to talk - even though I'm on break and I will ask her to allow me to sleep in.

f) I will suffer multiple allergy attacks. One will be brought on by Sugar (our white cat) trying to curl up on my face while I rest on the couch. One will be brought on by Pepper (our black cat) trying to lick my ears while I watch TV. One will be brought on by my Chinchillas' dust bath. I will probably suffer several others.

g) I will be scolded at least once for using the cell phone internet while watching TV.

h) I will find a stack of mail for me that has been sitting at the house for months that no one has told me about.

i) I will be asked to drive my sister around, because "she never gets to spend time with her big sister."

j) I will be asked to go to church - I will be asked again - I will be waked up on Sunday morning - I will be asked another time - I will end up going.

k) My name will show up on my brother's cake since I wasn't home for my birthday - even though my birthday is over and even though I do not eat cake.

l) My aunt will bring me a birthday gift. Probably something frog related. Probably something plastic. Probably wrapped in a goodwill shirt.

m) I will not get any writing done.

n) My little Kitsch will get hissed at twice by Sugar and once by Pepper while my father insists they "get to know each other" and Fatty, the dog, will sniff the heck out of Kitsch's buttal area.

o) My mother will attempt to vaccuum my room while I sleep.

p) My mother will attempt to vaccuum while I watch my television shows in the living room.

q) My sister will ask me to buy her something every time we visit a grocery/dollar store.

r) I will be asked by my brother for some quality "demon-dog" time. That's what he calls me. I'm not quite sure why.

s) I will be offered money by my grandmother, I will refuse, she will insist. It will be 20 dollars.

t) My father will scuttle to find a radio at noon on Thanksgiving to listen to Alice's Restaurant, which we will all run and hide from. We will end up sitting through the whole 20 minute song and be forced to sing the refrain.

u) I will be asked several times how much money I have.

v) I will be asked to skip my monday classes and stay another day.

w) I will be asked to drop out of school and move back home.

x) I will be asked to wait to leave until after a game of pool, which will last until 1pm even though I want to leave by 12pm so I'm not driving at night.

y) I will be called once while I'm driving home so my father can guess where I am.

z) A toll-booth operator will ask "is that a cat?" upon seeing Kitsch on my lap in the car.

and finally...

I will be home on Sunday night.

Have a happy turkey day.


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