Perhaps...

Sunday, February 26, 2006

I am slowly going crazy... 1,2,3,4,5,6 switch...Crazy going slowly am I... 6,5,4,3,2,1 switch...

Still no word from Akron.
Still no word from Lock Haven.
Still no word from Lincoln Land.
Still no word from Owens.

I feel like I'm losing it. For some reason, yesterday afternoon I just started getting really panicked about work next year. I started imagining myself in a Wendy's cap asking people if they want to "Biggie Size" their combos.

I know I shouldn't worry so much about it... but it's time to start thinking about it you know? I graduate this year and will have two degrees, a BA and an MFA, and I may be unemployed. The thought horrifies me.

What horrifies me even more is that I'm such a lazy procrastinator, I don't have a back up plan. I missed all the PhD application deadlines... I missed the Stegner deadline... and now I've missed the Wisconsin fellowship deadline. I'm such a stupid stupid girl. I can't believe time has gone soooo fast. I kept thinking I had more time but now it's gone. So, a job is even more important now.

I could always teach adjunct... but there's not even a guarantee that I could find a position... and they pay so little, I would be better off going back to the secretary job. At least I'd make more money.

Best case scenario: I get one of the four full time positions listed above and make enough money to live and be happy.

Worst case scenario: I get no job and have no way to survive... and end up like this guy:


























If you pray... pray for me. I am seriously going nuts worrying about this.

(My blog title is from Sharon, Louis and Bram's Elephant Show if you didn't catch on to that already.)

5 Comments:

At 10:30 AM, Blogger Gerald Huml said...

I don't pray but I'll be wishing you good thoughts. I had to temp for about 15 months after my MFA program. I'm sure you could do that if all else fails. Strangely, my temp job paid pretty well and set me up for the career I now have, so things tend to work out. Hang in there and keep the faith.

 
At 9:32 AM, Blogger Abs said...

I am hugging you mentally for two reasons:
1. I know it's rough when you're in that "tweener" stage with the MFA...keep trying, and remember there are websites that list many job postings for people with our background. I will pray for you.
2. You are the only person I've met outside my family who knows Sharon, Lois, and Bram show and that song; my mom actually has tapes of their music.

 
At 12:43 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Sharon Lois and Bram kick butt. Where else can you see an elephant in a spider's web... I mean really.

And thanks to both of you for the good wishes. I hope all goes well!

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger lettheemorainfall said...

maybe you should stop spending your parents' money getting worthless degrees and get a useful degree

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

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