Perhaps...

UPDATE!!!!!

2009-09-22T22:11:00.000-07:00

I've begun a new blog completely dedicated to our adoption process. It's going to be an exciting journey! Please follow us: http://findingourbaby.blogspot.com

It's brand new and will be updated regularly.

The journey begins:

2009-09-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

I've always been interested in adoption. As a child, I loved Webster and Punky Brewster. I "adopted" doll-babies and played "mommy." I always knew adoption would fit into my life, I just didn't know how. Then, at the age of 18, I was informed that I could not bear my own biological children. After surgery, this was cinched. It's always been something that tugs at my mind at random moments. Infertility is a difficult road and has caused me much heartache. However, the alternative of adoption is my glimmer of hope.

Recently, my husband and I have decided to begin the process. We've been wanting to do this for awhile now, but were never "settled" enough to do it. Now that we've purchased a home and "laid down roots," we feel that we're more than ready.

Unfortunately, it's quite expensive. We're planning a domestic infant adoption, if all goes according to plan. But, they range in cost from $20,000 - $30,000. We currently have enough to pay the application fees and the homestudy fees, but not enough to pay any of the agency, post-placement, etc. fees. The worst part is the agencies that we've looked into require payment prior to being advertised to birthmothers. So, we need to come up with $20,000 right away!

We're looking into various fundraising options... but nothing stands out yet. If you can think of any profitable fundraising ideas, please let me know. Again, keep in mind that this is to fund an adoption... so, some fundraisers may be inappropriate.

If all goes well, this time next year we'll be holding our precious baby! Fingers crossed. (Winning the lottery couldn't hurt).

I'm planning to blog more often now that we're moved in and settled. I plan to keep track of my adoption journey through blogging. Thanks for reading!

2009-09-20T08:27:00.001-07:00

Wow... it's been a long time since I've posted anything here.

Wow.

2009-07-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

So, lately I really love Fleet Foxes. If you haven't heard this band, you should check them out. Anyway, I was looking up youtube videos, because I wanted to post one of their songs in a post about good "writing music." I had a particular song in mind, "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song." It is haunting (as is most of their stuff), unique, and powerful, (especially toward the end)! I thought it was perfect... but then I found a cover by two young girls who call themselves "First Aid Kit." I didn't expect it to be more than amateur.

Boy was I wrong!

I don't know who these girls are. I have never heard of First Aid Kit. But, I think their version of the song is just as good, if not better than the original! Now, I'm a Fleet Foxes fan, so this is a rather extraordinary statement on my part. But it is undeniable.

Please Please Please listen to these girls. If you aren't drawn in at the beginning, give it time. The chorus is fantastic! Their harmonies are gorgeous! And, the end... just, wow!

If their original music is anywhere near as good as this cover, I expect big things from them.

-----

And, because it is still absolutely fantastic and worth listening to also: the original, by Fleet Foxes.

And, if you find the opportunity, you should check out "White Winter Hymnal" because it is another fantastic song by Fleet Foxes and is one of my favorite driving songs.

camera

2009-07-14T16:27:00.001-07:00

I lost my digital camera during the move. We think we left it in the U-Haul, but the U-Haul man can't track it down because it's been too long.

Sooooo... those before and after pics will be slightly delayed. :p My sister says I can borrow her camera, so maybe they won't be delayed too long.

Since this is a post about a camera, have you seen: I found your camera? It's a neat little site, and I'm hoping my pictures will pop up there so I can get them back.

MIA

2009-06-28T21:26:00.000-07:00

So, I've been absent for awhile.

...

We bought a house.

...

We've been fixing said house.

...

I never want to touch a paintbrush again.

...

We've moved in.

...

Unpacking is taking f.o.r.e.v.e.r.

...

I need more summer.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

RIP Craig Arnold

2009-05-09T18:50:00.000-07:00

Salt Lake Tribune Article, featuring a lovely snippet from Craig's blog.

Help Find Craig Arnold

2009-05-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Craig Arnold, a fellow poet, has gone missing. I've posted a link on my facebook page, but there is a group there called "Find Craig Arnold" that is being updated regularly. It is the only group associated directly with his family. Here is an e-mail that has made the rounds and has been posted on several other blogs. I want to share it with anyone who may not have heard about this yet. There is also a fund set-up for assistance with search and rescue. You can find that information in the facebook group.

Here is the e-mail:

The poet Craig Arnold is currently in Japan with the U.S.-Japan Friendship Commission's U.S.-Japan Creative Artists Exchange Fellowship and has been missing since April 26th (evening Monday April 27th Japanese time).

he is the author of two volumes of poetry: Shells, chosen by W.S. Merwin for the Yale Series of Young Poets in 1999, and of Made Flesh (Ausable, 2008). His poetry has been anthologized in several volumes of the Best American Poetry Series, and his poems, articles, and translations from the Spanish have appeared in such publications as The New Republic, Paris Review, Poetry Magazine, Yale Review, and many more. He is the recipient of numerous awards and honors, including a Fulbright Fellowship, the Joseph Brodsky Rome Prize from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, the Alfred Hodder Fellowship in Humanities from Princeton University, an Amy Lowell Poetry Traveling Scholarship, and a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts. Dr. Arnold did his B.A. at Yale University and received his Ph.D. from the University of Utah. He is presently an Assistant Professor at the University of Wyoming.

THE DETAILS:

Monday April 27th (Japanese time) he arrived with the 2:50 pm municipal ferry from Yakusima on the island of Kuchino-erabu and checked in to the local "Watanabe" inn, the only one on the island. He was with 2 Japanese tourists who had reservations. He did not have one. (They must have helped him check in.) He had traveled to the island to visit the volcano, as he has been working on a book on the subject of volcanoes for some time.

His plan was to stay only one night and leave the next day. (Craig has visited many volcanoes around the world in recent years as is very experienced with visiting them.)

He immediately left his 3 bags at the inn and departed around 3 pm on foot to the next village, taking only his walking sticks. He was wearing black or dark colors: long pants, a dark hat, a nylon jacket. His Japanese iPhone was on his person but has not been reachable due to inconsistent reception on the island. The exclusive provider of IPhone service, Softbank, has been contacted by the police in an attempt to utilize the built-in GPS capabilities of the phone.

At the village, someone with a car drove him to the entrance to the path leading up the mountain to the volcano. There are 4 paths to the volcano which are obvious and in good condition. He was taken to the entrance of a path next to a dam where evidence collected by the police suggests he ascended. His footprints have been found. The police have not found evidence of a return trip along that path. The area is densely forested until reaching the summit area, caldera, of the volcano where there is little vegetation.

The police stated that the path to that area is clear but that finding the path on the descent could pose problems so it is likely that he may not have found his way back to the path he entered by.

When Craig did not return to the inn by 8 pm, the inn staff searched for him by car, driving to the village. Unsuccessful, they returned to the inn and called the local fire brigade at 9 pm who responded immediately and searched until midnight.

Day 2 (Tues, April 28 JT) 5 police officers (under the direction of Mr. Kazuhara) arrived from Yakusima that morning with new assets: cars, search dogs, police persons, a helicopter. 40 total persons now working on this: 30 local fire reserve persons and 10 police persons and officials. They searched the trail he took but did not complete an exhaustive search of all 4 trails. One individual climbed all the way to the top. The area was circled several times by the helicopter and they also flew around the coastline. I contacted them directly at the end of the 2nd search day: 6:30pm. (5:30 am this morning, Wed April 29th U.S. time). They were debriefing and planning for day 3, with a plan to concentrate on the possible alternative paths down from the volcano that he may have taken by mistake and the surrounding area.

Day 3, the official required last day of the search, begins tonight. They are only required by law to search for 3 days. Extension procedures must be arranged with Mr. Kawahigashi and may require payment. Other than the helicopter, no higher level assets have been deployed at this time. Since the focus is on a "boots-on-the-ground" search and rescue (the forest makes visibility from the air limited) more people should be deployed immediately to assist.

ENVIRONMENTAL BACKGROUND:

Kuchino-erabusima (various transliterations possible shima, jima):

Volcanic island 14.5 square km. Spring weather conditions, temp drops at night but not to freezing. Has not rained since Craig went missing. Fresh water available.

Reachable by municipal ferry from Yakushima
Police based in Yakushima
Hospital on Yakushima
Airport on Yakushima connects to Kagoshima, major city.

Map:

http://homepage2.nifty.com/erabu/sight.htm

PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY INVOLVED:

The following people only speak Japanese with a thick regional accent:

The search and rescue operation is being led by
Town Officer: Mr. Kawahigashi
office tel: 81-(0)997-49-2100
(last spoke with him 7:05 am NYC time) They were preparing to debrief from
Day 2 of the search and prepare their plan for Day 3.
Day 3 begins tonight, Wednesday April 29. (= morning Thurs, April 30 Japanese time)

The Yakusima police officer on the case: Officer Kuzuhara: 81-(0)997-462110
he is on the neighboring island Yakusima, not the island where Craig is lost.

THEY ARE ONLY REQUIRED BY LAW TO SEARCH FOR 3 DAYS. THERE IS A NATIONAL HOLIDAY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. WE MUST APPLY ALL AVAILABLE PRESSURE TO MAKE THEM CONTINUE THE SEARCH AND TO CONVINCE THE U.S. CONSULATE TO ACTIVATE THE AVAILABLE AMERICAN ASSETS (OKINAWA) TO ASSIST WITH THE SEARCH AND RESCUE OPERATION ON THE GROUND.

The process is currently stalled at the Fukuoka Consulate level with
Mark Baron working under Margot Carrington
(Fukuoka Consulate office tel: 81-92-751-9331)

The Tokyo Embassy # is 81-(0)3-3224-5000 and the interim Charge d’Affairs is James P. Zumwalt

Local U.S.-Japan Friendship Commission Contact TOKYO:

Christopher Blasdel
blasdel@i-house.or.jp
81-3-3470-3211

Executive Director of U.S.-Japan Friendship Commission:
From: Eric Gangloff

Dr. Eric J. Gangloff
Executive Director
Japan-US Friendship Commission
1201 15th Street NW, Suite 330
Washington, DC 20005
(202) 653-9800
(202) 653-9802 fax
www.jusfc.gov

LOCAL AMERICAN ASSETS:

http://www.okinawa.usmc.mil/DoD%20on%20Okinawa/DoD%20on%20Okinawa%20Page.html

Kadena Air Force Base, Okinawa under the command of Pacific Air Force (PACAF)
http://www.kadena.af.mil/

NAVY: Commander Fleet Activities Okinawa:
https://www.cnic.navy.mil/Okinawa/index.htm

Naval hospital: http://www.med.navy.mil/sites/nhoki/Pages/default.aspx

_______________

Here is a CNN article about Craig's disappearance.

Worlds Smartest Dog?

2009-04-29T10:13:00.001-07:00

wow.

2009-04-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

Updates:

2009-04-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

I've been busy lately, hence my complete failure to update this blog. Things I've been doing:

-Buying a house. (Yes, we are in the process of buying a house. We're in contract. We've done the inspection. We're just waiting to close. Pictures of the remodel process will follow once we're in.)

-Writing for National Poetry Month. (I'm nine for nine so far. For those of you who don't know, the challenge is to write a poem every day during the month of April. It is very challenging, but it's fruitful.)

-Becoming a Godmother. (Okay, so my godson was born in January... but I've been spending a lot of time with him and his mommy over the past three months. The Christening is soon. I love that little boy.)

-Headaches. (They were better for awhile. But, lately the progress has taken a few steps back. It's still better than it used to be and I'm working with my doctor to get the right medication figured out. I've tried three so far. I'm debating over these last two. The side effects are about the same. They do get rid of the headaches, but they knock me out for a few hours. I've also started a magnesium supplement, and if I could remember to take them, I could figure out if they help.)

-Grading. (Same as usual)

-Family Time (Spending lots of time with my mom lately as she goes through a rough patch. But, things are looking up.)

-----------------------

In other news, Face is growing up. She likes to sleep in strange places.

loving them lately...

2009-03-09T20:21:00.000-07:00

Pita Pit tried to kill me...

2009-03-04T22:28:00.000-08:00

Tonight, we couldn't get around to supper until late. We decided to order Pita-Pit. It had been awhile since I've had a good gyro, so I ordered the gyro pita: lamb and beef, romaine lettuce, onions, feta, and tzatziki.

My mouth watered just ordering it. When it arrived, hefty in it's bag, I was very excited. I prepared my TV tray and settled in to watch some Game Show Network with my husband while enjoying a lovely dinner and laughs. (Game Show Network is surprisingly hilarious...) The first bite was not as good as I was hoping. The last gyro I had was two years ago, in OH, at a Pita-Pit, and it was good. I chalked it up to the different states, ingredients, time of night, etc. etc. Then, I took bite number two.

I chewed until I noticed something awkwardly tough. My first guess was that it was stale pita bread or a chunk of extra crispy meat... so I kept chewing. I started to notice it was a bit harder than just some old bread or meat, it was almost like a bone... but it couldn't be a bone... So, I spit it out.

It was exactly one half of a bread tie! A BREAD TIE It wasn't a twist-tie... no... it was a half-square, bright yellow, flat, hard, plastic bread tie. If it were a bit larger, I may have noticed it sooner. But, because it was only half... I nearly swallowed it! I could have choked to death. I could have ripped my esophagus. Not to mention what ungodly contamination could have touched it or whatever else was in the pans.

I am a bit of a germaphobe. I wash my hands quite frequently. I hold my breath when I walk past trash cans or big trucks with lots of exhaust. I began picturing the bread tie being removed, replaced, and removed again and again from a pack of pita shells by unclean hands. I felt like my trust was violated. I trust them to serve me food that won't harm me. It's an unwritten rule... right? Hell, it might be a written rule. Sure, accidents happen, but this was a bright yellow, plastic bread tie! How was this missed? Do they care so little about the pitas they are making? Do they even look at them as they make them? What other things lurk at the bottoms of their vegetable pans?

I am mortified from this experience. I know I certainly won't be eating at the Pita-Pit in Morgantown ever again. In fact, I probably won't eat at any Pita-Pit ever again.

I don't think I'm over-reacting. What if I choked?

Today was:

2009-02-25T15:06:00.001-08:00

-Sleepy
-Visits with students (one who didn't show up)
-New litterbox in the mail
-Catching up on TV
-Pizza
-Reminiscing
-Too many game shows
-Funny videos: This is the best one I've seen.
-Relaxing
-Needed

Migraines... Medicine... Bad Dreams... Oh, my!

2009-02-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

So, as many of you know from my constant complaints, I suffer from headaches. I have a headache pretty much every day - some mild and some terrible! Well, after my doctor's referral (back in October) my appointment finally arrived. Apparently, neurologists are very busy and one has to wait awhile before getting in. Anyway, it is now confirmed that I suffer from migraines. :(

The doctor prescribed me two meds: one preventitive (amitriptyline) and one to kill an "in progress" migraine (Maxalt).

I also found out some very interesting things that could be triggering my headaches:

-Caffeine (this I knew. I avoid it most of the time anyway)

-MSG (apparently, it isn't just in Chinese food. No, it's in Doritos. It's in Ramen Noodles. It's in almost anything that has a flavor packet or flavorful powder. Basically, anything that poor people like me eat a lot of.)

-Nitrites (I think that's the right word... anyway, this is found in processed meats and anything that is "preserved." Again, food that poor people like me eat.)

-Lack of sleep or irregular sleep schedule (I have horrible sleep habits. My insomnia is pretty bad and when I do sleep, I wake up frequently.)

-OTC Headache medicines (Well, well, well. What do you know?)

So, basically, I've been giving myself headaches by eating the food that I eat. Then, giving myself more headaches by constantly trying to treat them with OTC headache medicines. It's a vicious cycle.

Really though, I don't know if these things are what trigger my headaches, but they are common triggers for most people, I guess.

So, armed with my new knowledge and prescriptions, I will battle these headaches until I can live a normal life.

That said, the last few days have been... odd. Allow me to tell you about them:

I went to get the prescription filled only to find out that without insurance, the Maxalt costs upwards of $337 for TWELVE pills. Super expensive. Luckily, my insurance brought the cost down, but it still cost $117. Hopefully, that is including some sort of deductible. The preventative only cost $5.

Guess what the side effects are. Can't? Let me tell you. Maxalt didn't list many side effects and I'm not too worried about them. But, the amitriptyline... wow. Let me skip the boring old side effects like drowsiness and get right to the good ones:

*Weight gain (as if I didn't have enough trouble trying to lose weight already)
*An increased appetite, especially for sweets (Are you kidding me?)
*Headaches (HEADACHES?!?!? Aren't I trying to rid myself of that demon?)

Anyway, I figure the chances of getting all of the side effects are slim. But, I worry nonetheless. Moving on...

That night, I got a headache. The problem is it wasn't a super-rip-my-eye-out-of-socket-burn-the-side-of-my-face-off type of headache. It was just a dull, achey, why-can't-I-just-feel-like-a-normal-human-being type of headache. Since the medicine was so expensive and I can only take three a week (and I only have twelve pills) I decided not to take it. I want to conserve them for the ripper headaches that I know will come. The problem is... I can't take Excedrin or anything else because I have taken them too much and they will simply cause me to have more headaches (see above...).

Luckily, it passed after awhile and I was able to relax. Around 11pm, I took the preventative. Apparently, it is supposed to help me sleep better too. And it did. After taking the pill, I became pretty drowsy, a drowsiness I could have easily ignored, but that I welcomed. I was actually excited to go to bed that night. (Ask Nick, he will tell you that I was literally kicking my feet and giggling about how happy I was to go to sleep at a reasonable time and get eight+ hours of sleep before teaching the next morning.)

I slept decently. I woke a few times, but fell back asleep immediately. Then... I woke up.

My head felt like it was being chainsawed in half. I couldn't help but wonder if this is the "headache" side effect from the preventative. Quickly, I realized this was not just a headache. This was a knock-you-to-your-knees migraine. Usually, they don't hit me until late afternoon, so I don't have to worry about teaching with one. But not this day. I had to go teach four classes about MLA citation and I felt like my brain was melting out my ears. My vision was a little blurry at times and every noise was amplified by ten.

What is the problem? I have Maxalt, right? Wrong. I couldn't take it then. I had to teach. I don't know what this medicine will do to me. If it knocks me out, I can't work. If it makes me completely loopy, I might step in front of a car on the way to work. Since I was so unsure of how my body would respond, I couldn't take it. So, I suffered.

I taught all day long with one of the worst headaches of the year (so far). And to top it off, my last class got upset with me for making them do an MLA activity and actually began yelling and banging their chairs... on purpose... because they knew I had a headache. How do I know it was on purpose? One of them actually said: "She has a headache, I'm just going to be loud the rest of the class." After they left the classroom, I cried for a couple minutes. I was hurting. My class was mean. I lost control of them. I felt helpless.

After regaining composure, I walked home. The rest of the day I just graded. Thankfully, the migraine ran its course by bedtime.

That night, I took my preventative again. Again I became drowsy. Again I slept peacefully. But, I had weird dreams. I had really, really weird dreams. Dreams about botched surgery and halloween. But, I woke with no headache. And, I had no headache that whole day. What I did have was dry mouth. I am thirsty constantly and I feel like I need a mint every five minutes. The doctor warned me about this. So, I'm going to start carrying my water bottle around with me.

Last night, I took the preventative again. This time, I couldn't go to bed at a decent time. I had too much work to do. I fought off the drowsiness and graded papers until almost 2am. Then, I went to bed. I had a horrible nightmare. I dreamed about family members being eaten by a serial killer who lived underwater. We kept finding pieces of people in our cars and in other weird places. It was quite terrifying.

So, now I'm wondering if the medicine is giving me nightmares. I'm hoping that if that is the case, once my body gets used to it they will stop.

I still haven't got to try the Maxalt because after my horrible migraine, Wednesday, I've been headache free. (Thank God). If I have to suffer with nightmares and dry mouth... so be it.

I would rather wake up relieved and thirsty than with a migraine any day of the week.

Pointing you in the right direction

2009-02-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

The Winter Poetry Issue is up at Front Porch You should check it out! There's great stuff by Sherman Alexie! And, I particularly like "The Small Husband" by Heather Christle. And what would a post be without a bit of self-promotion... I have a poem in this issue too!

There are some pretty neat videos up as well -- check it out!

Why I wish I were in USC's marching band:

2009-02-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

Textbook Help...

2009-02-01T20:48:00.001-08:00

I am looking for a different textbook to use in the Fall that teaches argument (not Elements of Argument or Everything's an Argument) and a supplemental text that has essays on Popular Culture. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Help!

Wow.

2009-01-20T15:50:00.001-08:00

This might be the longest, most boring night of my life.

Happy Belated New Year...

2009-01-03T16:32:00.000-08:00

So, it's 2009. I hope it's happy!

Since my last post:

-I've put on five pounds (Thanks Christmas!)
-I've been to Ohio and back.
-I've been to a funeral for my grandmother's brother. (Rest in peace, Uncle Ed).
-I've celebrated Christmas twice.
-I've paid a lot of bills.
-I've read a couple books.
-I've learned to play Spades and Hearts (and now I am addicted).
-I've started playing Rock Band 2.

---------------

2008 was a horrible year for me and my family. I pray that 2009 will prove to be a better year and allow me a chance to recuperate.

---------------

I've made several resolutions. But, I will keep them to myself for now. If I accomplish my goals, I will let you know ASAP.

---------------

I am preparing a giant book order. I will be ordering in a couple days. Some items on my "to purchase" list:

In the Kingdom of My Familiar (Julie Platt) Since I first read Julie's poetry, I've been a fan of it. I have been itching to get my fingers on this chapbook.
Wanton Textiles (Reb Livingston and Ravi Shankar) I'm interested in collaborative work lately.
The Bad Wife Handbook (Rachel Zucker) I've been meaning to get this book and just haven't done it yet.
Adorno's Noise (Carla Harryman) Baby was so good... oh so good.

If you have any buying suggestions for me, let me know.

Just sharing...

2008-12-11T09:52:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love music. I listen to it while I write, while I browse websites, etc. But, I've never been one to fall head over heels in love with any one band. I enjoy listening to all sorts of music. I could probably listen to anything and be "content."

It wasn't until Radiohead that I lost my mind. I will listen to _OK Computer_ four times in a row during a car ride and then switch to _In Rainbows_ and listen to it four times... and so on. I own their DVDs. I own all the CDs. I would go so far as to decorate my office in Radiohead posters, if I had them.

And now, I crave finding music that makes me that excited. And, I rarely do. But, for the past year or so, I've been listening to this band develop: Fascinoma Two days ago, I downloaded their new CD on iTunes. It is gorgeous!!!! And now, second only to Radiohead, she is a new favorite.

I wish there were other options in the realm of youtube. This isn't my favorite song off the record, but it will at least give you a taste of how utterly beautiful Alanna Lin's voice is.

What is playing on my I-Tunes right now:

2008-12-05T18:04:00.001-08:00

Giving Thanks

2008-11-27T19:31:00.000-08:00

Lately, I haven't felt like there's a whole lot to be thankful for. If you are a regular to this blog, or my twitter, facebook, etc., you have probably figured out that things haven't been going so swimmingly lately. I won't go into details, but the short version is: my father is gone; my sister left; and my mother and brother now live alone. It's weird. It's not like going home anymore. My mother, who is normally so perky and happy, is not, and I feel like I'm breaking in two whenever I see her that way.

So today was Thanksgiving at my mom's house. It was a strange day. I knew the time was going to come to go around the table to "give thanks" and I was dreading it. As I said before, I'm not very thankful lately. It's hard to not feel abandoned by God at these moments in time. But this isn't about God. This is about what I'm thankful for. My speech at the table was much less enthusiastic and probably did nothing more than draw attention to the emptiness around us. But, I've had some time to think today and feel better about giving thanks for a few very important things.

My husband. He has been the STRONGEST support for me through all of this. I don't know what I would have done without him by my side. But more than that, he's taught me what it means to live for someone. He is the reason I wake up every morning... He is the love of my life and I am more than thankful for him.

My brother. I've written about my brother before. He is strong. He provides for his family and doesn't complain. I love him very much and thank God every day for him.

My sister. She is a spitfire. She drives me crazy. But, sometimes I need that craziness to help focus me and get my mind off of other things.

My grandmother. She has become a very important part of my life. She has stuck by our side and given my mother a mountain of support. I am so thankful for that.

My mother. If you've never met her, it will be difficult for you to see this as more than a daughter talking lovingly about her mother... but it is so much more than that. When she dies, my mother should be declared a saint. She has put up with so much in her life and has somehow managed to keep her faith and happiness through so much of it. I am thankful for her smiles, which I see coming back slowly. I am thankful to have her as not just a mother, but a friend. I couldn't make it through this life without her.

No

2008-11-25T10:13:00.000-08:00

I have not disappeared.

I needed a bit of a break from, well, pretty much everything.

Since I've been gone:

-A couple poetry acceptances.

-I am getting a new computer (more to come on this topic).

-My father is a complete idiot.

-I had a birthday.

I will be posting again soon. For real.

A Post Halloween Horror Story

2008-11-01T19:08:00.001-07:00

Meet Face

2008-10-13T20:36:00.001-07:00

Nick and I were going to pet store after pet store trying to find the perfect playmate/sister/girlfriend for Kitsch. Actually, we started looking for a brother/boyfriend. I've had boy cats most of my life and they tend to be better about not messing in the house or scratching the furniture, etc. Anyway, every pet store we visited I found a kitten that I wanted to bring home, but we always decided against it for whatever reason.

Last week, while visiting my mother, we ran to the local pet store to see what they had and we met a cute, black kitten. She was super scrawny. All of the other kittens were twice her size, and they were mostly the same age (according to the girl behind the counter). We figured she was the runt of the litter. We laughed at her a bit and fawned over her cuteness. Then, we left.

Two days ago, I went back to the pet store and the little, black kitten was still there. She was surrounded by new kittens, who were still twice her size. I asked to hold her. Once I did, I couldn't put her down. So, impulsively, I brought her home.

Nick couldn't be happier. He was in love with her the first day we met her. (I'm still not sure why we didn't just take her home then).

At first, Kitsch was not having any of it. He was pissed that we would even consider bringing another animal into his domain. He growled and hissed like I've never seen before. And let me tell you, he looks pretty evil while he's hissing. I think it's the "no hair" thing.

After two nights, Kitsch now accepts his companion. He's still a bit unsure, but for the most part he's pretty content.

The problem now is that he wants to play with her too much. He gets a little over-excited and starts to bite her way too hard. She's so so so small and just sits there and mews. But, when he leaves her alone, she chases him and starts the whole cycle over again. I'm hoping Kitsch will learn to be gentler in his play tactics.

---

We decided to name the new kitten "Face." For one, we thought it was a cute name. Second, she has a cute, little face (as you can see in the very funny picture of her at the top of this post). She has quite the personality. She was not scared of Kitsch for one moment, even while he hissed and growled. And, she took to the house like a trooper. She hasn't tried to hide at all. She sleeps wherever she wants and goes wherever she wants. She's also very fearless. If she wants to get somewhere, she goes for it, no matter where it is. She is too small to jump to very high places, but she will climb in order to get where she needs to go. Exhibit one:

She actually climbs us. If she wants held and we are busy, she will climb up our clothes and onto our shoulders. I love that now, but we'll have to break her of that before she gets too big. Ouch.

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-12T20:18:00.000-07:00

Seriously, the exclamation points are necessary. I will giggle about this for days to come. I used to go to Showbiz Pizza when I was a little girl, so this was especially funny for me. Thank you Mary for the link. I needed this laugh.

2:32 -- 3:13 is my favorite portion of the clip. However, the entire thing is h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s. :)

I am a collector of things.

2008-10-03T21:26:00.000-07:00

1. Bells:

When I was nine years old, I began collecting bells. My father bought me a bell that reminded him of me; that began a life of collecting. Since that day, my father has given me a bell on my birthday and Christmas every year. I've picked up a few on my own; my friends have picked me up one here or there. And now, I have quite the collection. Most of my bells are Fenton glass. But, I have several others also.

2. Frogs:

I used to collect frogs. I only have a few at my current home; most of them are at my mom's house. I have frog figurines, stuffed frogs, frogs in a bathtub, inflatable frogs, frog keychains, frog pajamas, frog slippers, etc. etc. etc. I really liked frogs when I was younger. Everyone knew it. My birthdays consisted of opening frog after frog after frog after bell after frog. I don't get so many frogs anymore... but when I see a cute frog figurine at the store, I can't help but want to pick it up.

3. Barbies:

I always loved Barbies as a little girl. If I wasn't playing tricks on my little brother, I was playing Barbies with my cousin. I had two milk-crates filled with Barbies... But no Ken dolls. (This would make an interesting post later. I really need to remember to discuss this). Soon, I started keeping the extra special Barbies in their boxes. This started with the Holiday Barbies that my uncle would buy me for Christmas. I collected them well into my teenage years (right up until I moved away for college). After I moved out of the house, my mother threw away my crated Barbies. I am still devastated over that. I would love to look through them. Aside from a few haircuts (remember, there was no Ken doll - I had to make "Ken" dolls out of flat chested, generic, skipper dolls), they were all in really great shape. It's too bad they're gone. :(

4. Bing and Grondahl Figurines:

Okay, so maybe this can't really be considered a collection... but it's the whole reason I decided to blog about this topic. I recently found the strangest little figurines and I am completely smitten with them. The little guy above is "headache." There are three others that go with this collection: "earache," "toothache," and "stomach ache." I found a vintage headache and earache on E-bay and had to buy them. I got a fantastic deal. I am currently keeping my eyes open for the other two aches.

I'm not really interested in the painted figurines by Bing and Grondahl. But, I'm enamored by these babies. They're strange and beautiful. So, my collection will probably be complete after I find the other two. But, I may extend the collection into "anything involving strange little babies."

I collect other things... but these are my favorite collections. Do you collect anything?

Anamorphic Illusions...

2008-09-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

Check out this unreal artwork!

Believe it or not,Julian Beever creates the most amazing pavement art with sidewalk chalk. Absolutely amazing!

Best first line of an essay ever...

2008-09-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

"Since the beginning of time, literacy has been one of the most important things in American society."

Mmmmm Mmmmm....

2008-09-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

I've always liked this song, but it's even better when paired with food.

By the way, my new, improved, healthy food choices begin soon. In the meantime, enjoy this greasy video. :)

The perfect summer song...

2008-09-03T23:40:00.001-07:00

Because summer is over (well, not officially) here is the perfect summer love song.

For whatever reason, when I first heard this song I absolutely loved it. It is so catchy and fun. It makes me do that weird sway, head bob dance that people who can't dance do. (I am one of those people who can't dance).

And yes... we did use it in our wedding video. It is the song for the "best of the day" montage. Although, our version is slightly faster.

Enjoy!!!

P.S. The artist is Jason Mraz and the song is "I'm Yours."

Poets Beware:

2008-08-25T19:41:00.001-07:00

If you ever intend to submit to or judge a Cider Press Review book contest, you should first read Stacey Brown's story and then read the aftermath.

Thank you, Stacey! I appreciate your story and wish you great luck in the future.

Headaches, Weird Dreams, and the End of Summer

2008-08-18T21:40:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a horrible headache. When I first went to bed, it was fairly mild. I was able to fall asleep after about fifteen minutes. It just got worse from there.

I dreamt that I was standing in the kitchen with my mother and then suddenly grabbed at the front of my hairline and pulled all of my hair out in one rapid movement. I then began screaming "Why did I just do that?" over and over again. I was completely confused about what had just happened. All I felt was intense burning pain. Then, I woke up and realized that the reason I had such a terrible dream was because my head felt like it was splitting open. I was in intense pain. I managed to fall back asleep, only to wake back up every few minutes until my alarm went off.

Thankfully, after a few pills and a chilly walk to campus, my headache whittled away to nothing. I would have been pretty miserable if I had to do introductions and syllabus discussions while my head was pounding.

Thankfully, I felt fine again and my students seemed to be motivated and interested in participating in discussion. But, since it was basically just introductions today, it is really too early to tell if this will continue. I have high hopes!

I suffer from headaches quite frequently, usually five or six a week varying in intensity. OTC medicines don't help most of the time anymore. I need to see the doctor soon and figure it out. I'm tired of it.

country mouse in the city

2008-08-15T23:15:00.000-07:00

So, we supposedly moved into a "quiet, professional neighborhood." But, because I have lived in the middle of nowhere for the past two years, I can't get used to the city noise here. I do not think it is quiet.

Since we moved in about a month ago, I have not had a single night of good sleep. I've been going to bed later and later and waking up earlier and earlier.

I guess one of the things I am going to have to get used to again is living in an apartment. Granted, we live above a business, so it's not quite as noisy as it could be. There is no one here in the late evenings. But, they arrive in the early hours of the morning and I hear them come in every time. I hear the carts wheeling around. And on certain days, I hear a very LOUD employee who doesn't hesitate to talk, stomp, laugh, listen to music, etc. as loud as humanly possible. I would swear she was in bed next to me sometimes. Then, I hear the street noise... oh, the street noise. That is the hardest thing to get used to. We had zero noise at our last house because we lived a tenth of a mile from the rural road. But now, we live right on the road and every car wakes me up. It shouldn't bother me. I used to live right next to the traintracks... but it's been so long ago that my body isn't used to noise anymore. I hear the garbage truck. I hear people's dogs. And now.... I hear partying college students.

We actually live in a nice neighborhood that is home to primarily graduate students and professionals. But, I guess because I am hyper sensitive to noise right now, I hear the parties that are taking place way up the road. It's easy to tell that school is back in session.

And the other night, the security alarm went off downstairs. Apparently, something fell over in the business and set off the motion sensor... Needless to say, I didn't sleep easy that night.

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Don't get me wrong. I love our new home. It is beautiful inside. It is an old Victorian farmhouse with great character. And, it's been kept up very nicely. It is amazing to be within walking distance of pretty much everything. We use so much less gasoline. And, we can go grocery shopping for smaller amounts and it only takes a few minutes.

Once I get used to the noise, this will be the perfect place to live. But for now, I feel more like a country mouse than I ever have

Radiohead

2008-08-05T15:16:00.000-07:00

So, last night was the Radiohead concert that I've been so excited about for the past few months. The concert was in the Blossom Music Center at Cuyahoga Falls, OH.

The arena itself was breathtaking. I had never been there before, but my husband had. He told me about it, but I didn't quite picture the lawn as large as it was. By the time the concert started, the lawn was packed with people as far as I could see.

Anyway, we arrived extremely early because we were worried about traffic. Thankfully, there was none. So, we stood in line outside the gate and entertained ourselves by taking pictures.

We didn't get the best tickets ever, but we were at the center of the pavillion. I was a little disappointed because I have never seen Radiohead live and I wanted to be able to enjoy the show. From our seats, in the sunlight, I couldn't see anything. So... we moved to some empty seats for Grizzly Bear's performance and hoped that nobody would show up to claim them. We remained there for the entire opening act. Unfortunately, the seats were claimed by their rightful owner seconds before Radiohead took the stage and we were banished to our own.

Thankfully, night fell. When it was dark, the stage was much easier to see and I actually ended up feeling like we had a decent view of the stage (albeit a bit small).

Radiohead opened with "Fifteen Step," which is one of the songs I was hoping they would open with. I love that song on the album and I wanted to hear it live. I didn't think it was anything extra special, just as good as it is on the CD, which is very very good. The light show, though, was amazing! The stage was strung with strips of cloth and a large, horizontal screen. The lights danced across the strips and the band was broadcast on the screen making it easier to see the intricate details (like Jonny playing the keyboard with his guitar WHILE PLAYING THE GUITAR!!! during "Street Spirit")!!! I know! I was in Heaven. I snapped a few pictures. They aren't the greatest, but they get the message across.

The show really picked up for me during "Exit Music (for a film)." The lights were dim and candle-like. The song built and built until it exploded. And then every song afterward was amazing. My favorite of the night was "Idioteque." It was hard not to dance (though I held off a bit because there were some crazy dancers around us already).

At one point, some big guy crammed his way into our row right next to us and was dancing all around. He wouldn't move and just kept hitting me over and over again. Thankfully, we maneuvered ourselves in such a way that we kept him (and the guy smoking weed next to him) out of our way.

The main set was followed by two encores. You can find the whole setlist here.

Anyone who was looking to hear In Rainbows live was not disappointed. They played every song on the album.

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There is something about Radiohead that is unmatched by any band I've ever heard. When I listen to them, I ache all over. I ache to perform, I ache to write, I ache to do something. It's more than just listening to some lyrics. There is no plot necessary. It's a state of being that is expressed.

*sigh* I sound like a crazy fan.

I just enjoy their music a lot. And, last night's show was no exception. I wish we could go to the one in NJ on the 12th.

The three and a half hours there and back and the one and half hour wait in the parking lot to leave the pavillion was worth it. I would go again in a heartbeat.

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Here's a clip from last night's show. I did not film it. I found it on youtube, and it's pretty decent quality. And, this is one of those songs that was good on CD but CRAZY GOOD live. Enjoy!

The Gloaming

If you search, there are other songs up on youtube.

two days to Radiohead

2008-08-02T07:56:00.000-07:00

If you're wondering what I will be doing on Monday...

Cleveland, here I come.

Ugh... Moving.

2008-08-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

So, We've been moving for the past two weeks.

We are so unsettled. Every year we have to pack up and move somewhere else. It's not that I don't enjoy moving, because I do. I would just prefer to do it a little more seldom.

Yesterday we finished taking the last load of things from our old house to our new one. We cleaned for several hours and our security deposit was returned with lightning speed. So, although I hated our landlord at the last place, I am thankful for the quick deposit return.

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Our new place is beautiful. It doesn't have 12-13 acres like the last place - It doesn't have any yard as a matter of fact. But, it's a nice change. NO MOWING!!!! And, we are within walking distance of everything.

I will post some pictures and details later. (Once I unpack my camera).

What a wild summer.

2008-06-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

I've been absent for awhile. But, things have been pretty stressful around here.

Now - things are good. We are moving in a couple of weeks, just up the road, closer to our jobs. This gas crisis has us panicking about commuting.

We're pretty excited about being so close to campus. It will only take about five minutes to walk to work every morning. :)

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It has been a summer of wildlife around here. That is what I will miss the most about this house. Here's a sampling of what we've seen in the past couple weeks.

This guy lives nearby. He's a pileated woodpecker (think woody woodpecker). They are huge! We saw one in the arboretum recently and then realized that we had one living in our yard.

We woke up one morning and this guy was resting on our porch. I love turtles.

This luna moth visited us a couple nights ago. I had never seen one before, so it was pretty exciting for me. I think they're beautiful.

We also have a resident groundhog and a praying mantis, some deer and turkeys, and your average birds.

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I will try to blog more. But, it's been easier to tweet lately. :D

This day last year...

2008-06-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

was the best day of my life.

Oh, Ohio.

2008-05-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

I am back from a lovely trip to my in-laws. The trip was much needed and very relaxing. I would love to return sometime soon. :)

My favorite part of the visit was our trip to Sheldon's Marsh. The marsh is a great little spot near Lake Erie where there is a lot of wildlife. We also had some family dinners and had the chance to spend some time with our nieces and nephews.

At the marsh, my youngest nephew managed to get a squirrel to eat right out of his hand. He loved it! And, I have to admit... I was a bit jealous.

We saw so many great birds and animals while we were there. I managed to snap a few pictures that turned out okay.

Did I mention that I love squirrels? Because I do. This guy was a model. He let us get so close to him while he posed for pictures.

On our last full day there, we had a BBQ. Our niece made bows for everyone and we happily wore them. She snapped a quick group picture to commemorate the event. :)

Now, we're back. Next on the agenda - Myrtle Beach!

Sugar Ray King 11/26/1990 - 05/08/2008 RIP

2008-05-08T06:07:00.000-07:00

We love you Sugar! It's very sad to lose you and Fatty in the same year. I grew up with you; my sister can't remember a day without you. You are in our memories and our hearts forever. I will always tell people about my cat that played fetch. I'll tell them about how much you talked and how you sang along with Mom. You were a very special cat and I will love you forever.

Last Flowers 'til the Hospital

2008-05-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

more church reflections

2008-05-06T08:54:00.000-07:00

Remember me talking about that church. I won't be going back.

Super conservatism makes me angry. It is fair for everyone to have their own belief system - something that makes them feel content. However, I do not want to sit through an hour of having it dumped on me.

For the entire service, the pastor talked about homosexuality and how it was wrong. Am I homosexual - No. But, I do have gay friends... and the things he was saying about that lifestyle really peed me off.

He basically said that homosexuality leads to predation. He also said that homosexuals will burn in hell. Well, pardon me, but I thought that God was forgiving. I thought that God called us to reach out to people. If they feel that a certain lifestyle is wrong, then shouldn't they be opening their arms to them? That sermon would only push someone away.

I don't know about you... But, I hope that God isn't that cruel.

The pastor went on to talk about how Soddom and Gomorrah was destroyed because of "the cry of the offended." He said that the people who lived in Soddom and Gomorrah that had been raped, molested, hurt, etc. by the "evil" individuals of the city, cried out to God to come and rescue them. So, what did God do? He sent fire to destroy the city... but did He rescue the "offended?" No. He rescued Lot and Lot's family... a foul little brood who mistreated Abraham, chose to live in Soddom and Gomorrah despite knowing how bad it was, and who offered his daughters to the men of the city to rape.

I need to find a church that helps me... not a place that makes me not want to know who God is.

Better than a bowl of wheaties.

2008-04-29T23:36:00.000-07:00

The best way to start your day is by watching this:

Ripping off the bandage...

2008-04-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

Up until about three weeks ago, I had not been to church in about eight years. When I was younger, church was my life. I went to Sunday AM service and Sunday PM service. I went to youth group on Wednesday nights. And, we had a Bible study in our home on Thursday evenings.

My mom is very religious. Well, religious is not the right word. She just loves God.

Throughout my mother's life she was dealt blow after blow - Her mother died on her seventh birthday. She is legally blind, as was her father and she was left to take care of him. At 19, my mother gave birth to me. Then my brother came along. I've written about him before, but to refresh your memory, he was born completely blind. And then my sister was born. My grandfather died several weeks after my sister was born, right after my mother's birthday. Through all of this, her homelife was not what it should have been.

Thankfully, everything changed for her. My father sobered up and became a better man and all the other pieces of her life began to fall into place. They bought a house. Their children grew up. She will tell you, without hesitation, that she is very happy. And it's true.

The one constant in her life: Faith. My mother has a seemingly unshakeable faith in God.

This is where my mother and I differ. When bad things happen to her, she seeks comfort in God. When bad things happen to me... I question Him. Yes, I believe in God. Yes, I have faith. But, God and I have issues. I don't get it. I was as devoted to my beliefs as I could be as a child. I even wanted to be a pastor for awhile.

Then, about eight years ago... my world fell a part. I will not give the details, but suffice it to say, I received some very devastating news that wounded me deeply. My life went into a bit of a tailspin.

I walked away from church and lost all of my faith in God for awhile.

Since that day, I've been healing. It's been quite the process. But, I finally feel like I am able to return to church. I don't think I will ever be "religious." I don't even know that I want to be. But, I am finally able to walk into a church without turning around and leaving.

So anyway, I recently attended church. I have gone back twice since that first visit. I don't know that I will attend regularly. And I will probably not become a member (that whole idea of having a "membership" to love God bothers me.) But, I feel like it's a new step in the healing process.

I'm not sure why I'm blogging about this. Maybe because I feel the urge to talk about it... maybe partly because I didn't know what else to write about... I don't know how long it will last, but this is what is happening in my life right now.

Music to grade by

2008-04-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

aka five of the most played songs on my I-Tunes.

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Radiohead and The Posies "Blowout"

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Radiohead "Paranoid Android"

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Damien Rice "Cold Water"

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The Flaming Lips "When You Smile"

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Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody"

Hey!!!

2008-04-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Have you checked out this new gem yet?

Warbler: A Word and Song Zine

What I need is a nice, warm shower and a cup of tea.

2008-04-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

I've been very sick these past few days. I could barely swallow. It hurt to speak. When I did speak, it came out in little squeaks. My head has been aching for three days straight. I actually had to cancel classes yesterday because I could hardly move. I felt horrible. I slept practically all day.

Thankfully, I'm feeling better today. I still have a scratchy throat, but I can swallow and speak better. I still have a headache, but it isn't throbbing like it was the past couple days. So, now maybe I can get something accomplished.

I didn't get anything done over spring break. We came home early that week to find that we had no water. I tried calling the water company, but to no avail. Finally, someone called us back to let us know that the water line had accidentally been cut by someone who was digging in the area. Later that night, the water was back on. But... it was brown and murky for the rest of the week. We had to do everything with bottled water. The cat drank better than he ever has.

Now that the water is back and I'm feeling better, I can wash clothes and dishes! :)

Yep... definitely buying that recycling bin.

2008-03-25T23:26:00.000-07:00

I've wanted to be more environmentally friendly for awhile now. But, lately I've been feeling an even more urgent need to recycle. I've been noticing how much plastic and paper is used in our home and it is actually quite scary.

Reading things like this are just pushing me along even more quickly:

From AOL news.
"A chunk of Antarctic ice about seven times the size of Manhattan suddenly collapsed, putting an even greater portion of glacial ice at risk, scientists said Tuesday..."

I'm buying a recycling bin.

2008-03-20T21:54:00.000-07:00

These pictures are both breathtakingly beautiful and horrifying at the same time.

Thanks to Oliver for the link.

Spring break begins in one hour

2008-03-19T10:45:00.001-07:00

What will I be doing for the next twelve days?

-Wearing yoga pants every day!
-Playing video games!
-Sleeping until 10 or 11am.
-Writing one poem a day (at least!)
-Cleaning my house from top to bottom.
-Bowling and board games at my family's house.
-Watching way too much HGTV.
-Daydreaming about that warmer place...

weekend at the hospital.

2008-03-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

This weekend was rough. My mother was taken to the Emergency Room on Saturday morning, was given blood on Saturday night and had to have surgery on Sunday morning. Thankfully, everything is okay and she is recovering.

My mother is very afraid of doctors. I should say, she is afraid of hospitals in general. About 16 years ago, she had a minor operation that went wrong. While the doctor was intibating her, she woke up. The anasthesia wasn't taking affect and she couldn't move or speak to let them know that she was awake. The problem was, she couldn't breathe either, because they were putting the tube into her throat. She was able to bite down, so she did. This let the doctors know that she was awake. She heard the anasthesiologist assure the doctor that she would not remember any of what happened, when she woke up. But... she did, and that was the first thing she told the nurse when she came to.

But, this is just one of the many reasons my mother is afraid of hospitals. Heck, I'm afraid of hospitals! My family has a long history of cancer. My grandma died of cancer, as did her mother. Both of my grandpas died of cancer. My aunt had cancer, but she beat it. My brother had a cancerous tumor removed from his spine a few years ago, but luckily it hadn't spread. When I was suffering through those lung problems about two years ago, the doctor was afraid it might be cancerous. Luckily, it wasn't. So, going to the hospital is frightening. You never know what the doctor is going to tell you.

Thankfully, my mom is home now. She's resting and healing. Please send good thoughts her way.

When the doctors were giving her blood Saturday night, they told her it came from Pittsburgh. As soon as it started down the IV, she raised her arms and said:

"Go Steelers!"

A little thought...

2008-03-04T20:27:00.000-08:00

I find myself dreaming of someplace warmer...

2:00am Ramblings

2008-02-27T23:06:00.000-08:00

I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping the last four nights. I have not been having nightmares, I have not been midnight snacking, I just can't stay asleep. I wake up every half hour or so, all night long.

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Grading is over until Friday. :)

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Me and my mom took a trip to the pet-store the other day, just because we couldn't think of anything better to do in the rain. While there, we fell in love with a Lhasa Apso. He was so adorable. The bow in his hair made him even more adorable. The fact that he was fluffy and squeezy added to that adorableness. For a split second, I considered an impulse buy. But, I thought better of it.

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I'm in the middle of planning a kitchen re-do for my mom. We are simply planning to paint, redo the floors and change out the cabinet pulls. Right now, her kitchen is seventies, complete with yellow laminate countertops. While I can't change the countertops right now, I'm planning something that will make them work (I hope). I'll post pictures when it's finished (probably late March, early April).

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I want to go to bed now, but House Hunters is on and I want to see if the couple picks house number two. (I would - it has wide, wide stairs and an angular living room.)

Bed is going to win though... Otherwise, I'm going to end up like this baby tomorrow.

Garfield without Garfield.

2008-02-26T19:51:00.000-08:00

SO FUNNY!

Check this site.

and just for a hint:

What a week!!!

2008-02-21T21:05:00.000-08:00

I spent some time in the ER yesterday. Everything turned out fine. No worries.

---

I love my job! But, I am in the middle of a painful grading marathon. I should have planned a little better when I was making my syllabus. I am in the middle of grading 88 four page papers (352 pages) that I collected recently ... I collect 88 more four page papers tomorrow. The downer: I have to have them all finished by Monday at 9:30am so my students have a chance to revise before the mid-term portfolio is due (next Friday). For some reason, I didn't realize that I was only giving myself a week to grade approximately 704 pages of writing. Que lastima!

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I have exercised 6 of 7 days this week. This is an accomplishment that I am very proud of. I want to be healthy and fit, but I usually struggle to get motivated to workout. Since I have been grading so much, this is a true feat! I can already tell a difference in the difficulty level. When I first started, I couldn't run for more than ten minutes without feeling miserable. Now, I can run for 30 minutes without feeling bad at all.

I have set a new goal for myself. I want to run in a marathon. It will take a long time before I'm ready, but in a few years maybe?

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Lots of people around me are having babies or trying to have babies. I am very anxious to start a family... First, we need to get settled. That's my other goal. :)

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I managed to get some writing done this week.

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I'm surprisingly satisfied right now.

On my "to submit" list:

2008-02-15T19:13:00.000-08:00

Two brand, spanking new journals... just waiting for submissions. Are they on your list? They should be.

1. Packingtown Review "was founded in 2007 at the University of Illinois at Chicago by a group of Ph.D. students in the English department. The journal features poetry, prose, drama, literary scholarship, and cultural commentary and reflects the UIC English department's interdisciplinary approach. Packingtown Review publishes established and emerging US-American and international writers as well as English translations of contemporary and classic works, especially from lesser-known languages. The first issue is slated for publication in November 2008, and the second in November 2009. After the second release, the journal will be issued biannually."

2. Glass: A Journal of Poetry seeks new, original poems for its second issue, due out in June of 2008, and the third issue, due out December 2008. Their first issue will appear on March 1, 2008 and features 35 poems by 29 poets. Included in the debut issue are Rane Arroyo, Adam Houle, Joseph Hutchinson, Ryan McClellen, Lisa Fay Coutley, Tom Carson, Amanda McQuade, Allison Tobey, and Davide Trame, among others.

14 of the 365 reasons that I love you

2008-02-14T07:51:00.000-08:00

To my husband:

14. I love that you sit through shows that you don't really like, just to be with me.
30. You have some pretty sweet shoes.
32. Your family is fun to be around.
80. You're spontaneous! Like when you suggested to go to the beach in March, 2006. Little did I know, I'd come back planning a wedding.
126. I feel safe around you.
128. I can't stop thinking about you.
141. You are always willing to help me with projects I am working on.
203. You were such an adorable little boy.
205. You offer me chocolates, even when the box belongs to you.
215. You can play the keyboard.
244. You love dachshunds as much as I love cats... I think that's sweet.
252. You look good in red.
324. You pump gas for me, so my hands don't stink and so I don't have to stand in the cold.
358. I love your sophistication.

There are many more reasons waiting for you to read again. Happy Valentine's Day! I love you so much.

Flashdance

2008-02-05T15:34:00.000-08:00

I finally purchased a new pair of glasses to replace the ones I lost over a year ago. What am I most excited about? I have a funky, plum colored pair coming soon.

~

My mother has strange dreams. Usually, something happens after she has them. We were talking today about a dream she had about my grandpa a while ago. In it, he walked her to a local street and told her never to cross it. He was not alive in the dream, he just said he came back to tell her that. Then she woke up. Two weeks later, a woman was hit by a car while crossing that road.

~

The universe scares me. The actual universe. I was looking at some pictures of the crab nebula, an explosion that happened over 1,000 years ago but that is still visible and expanding. It's strange. I have so many questions that there are no answers to. What's scarier is that I'm actually thinking about the universe.

~

I know it is an unpopular choice, but I'm rooting for Hilary.

~

My favorite superbowl commercial? The bridgestone squirrel. The bug is the best part, followed closely by the littlest sigh of relief.

~

Have any of you watched the new gameshow, Moment of Truth? I'm addicted. I wish it came on more than once a week.

whistle

2008-01-29T21:27:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking a lot about birds lately.

How cute are these? I like Etsy for artwork. I just wish I could find some extra large, mixed media artwork involving birds. I don't know hadleyhutton... but the artwork is gorgeous and worth buying. (That is the artist responsible for the nice picture on this blog).

I am looking for a behind-the-couch piece.

I'm thinking about some of the smallish art, like the one above, for my office.

I'm Guilty

2008-01-21T07:23:00.000-08:00

Hair Metal.

I love it.

Why? Well, aside from the hair (because it is fantastic)... and the androgyny (I had a perm in the late 80s-early 90s that made me look a lot like the lead singer)... I simply adore the pure energy in every song! Watch him, he doesn't just sing - he bends, he twists, he lifts the microphone stand, he plays air guitar, he moves around. Now, there are bands that have more energy (Whitesnake)... but, really... how can you watch this and not love it?

The crazy one.

2008-01-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

Every large family has one of these children. I mean that silly little goofball who is always getting him/herself into trouble. The curious little cat that doesn't learn the first time. In my family that person is my sister. There are so many great stories to tell about her, especially from when she was a child. She is an adult now, and it is both wonderful and sad to realize that. But, it is a blast to reminisce - and when talking about my sister... there is a lot to laugh about and even more to be thankful about.

Here are a few highlights from her childhood:

~ Our old house was built a little strangely. The front door was on the second story, to the side of the house, but there was a "side door," if you will, on the front of the house, close to the road. Behind that door, which stayed locked at all times, was our playroom. It was a huge room, the size of the entire second story, where we kept all of our toys. I was nine, my brother must have been six and my sister would have been about one and a half. My grandma lived across the street and my brother and I would frequently visit her. The problem was that the street was pretty busy in the summer because the only public pool in town was right up the road from us. My mom would walk us across the street because she was terrified that something would happen to us. One day, my sister learned to unlock the playroom door while my mother was walking my brother and I across the street. She turned around to find S, my sister, standing on the side of the road trying to cross the street, while cars were whizzing by. Thankfully, she listened to my mom who was screaming "Stay there! Don't move! Mommy's coming right now."

~ Around the age of two, my sister would frequently throw tantrums. HUGE tantrums. She would go into her room, take ALL of her clothes out of the closet and dresser, pile them in front of the bedroom door and say she was moving out. She would usually fall asleep in the big pile of clothes and be just fine when she woke up.

~ Again, around two, she came to the realization that women shave their legs. She happened upon one of my mother's razors in the bathroom and we found her in the bathtub, shaving her legs with no soap or water. She had a few cuts, but thankfully she was just fine.

~ Going back in time a little bit more, when she was only one, my mom turned around while she was mopping the kitchen floor to find my sister with her head in the bucket of soapy water, blowing bubbles.

~ Another one year old story. My sister found and swallowed a penny. We had no idea what was wrong with her except that she was acting really sleepy all of a sudden and was struggling to breathe. We called my Grandma and she brought over a bulb syringe (why, I don't know... but thank God she did). She syringed my sister's nose and somehow it made her spit up the penny.

~ In kindergarten, my dad would pick my sister up from school. One day, he arrived to find my sister with huge scabs all over her face. My dad asked how they got there and she answered, "I was trying to erase my face." She had rubbed a pencil eraser around on her face and left those horrible marks. They cleared up pretty quickly.

-------

There are SO many other stories I could share about my sister. But these are some of my favorites. I love her to pieces and I am so thankful that none of those crazy moments hurt her severely or resulted in some horrible trauma. She is still very mischevious and has a tendency to get herself into trouble - even though she is an adult. But, that's who she is. And that's a big reason why I love her.

Resolution for everyone: Goof Off!

2008-01-09T21:24:00.000-08:00

As promised, here is my post about the new year celebration we had at our house this year. My brother-in-law and his wife stayed with us and we were mighty busy while they were here.

We started the visit off with dinner at Chili's. Nick and I have declared it our current favorite. It's affordable and the ribs are really tasty. The rest of the time I prepared dinner, but it was nice to go out once.

The next day we ran over to my dad's lounge. For those of you who don't know, my father recently started a business. It is really nice there and he has a pool table. We all like to shoot pool, so we took the trip. Needless to say, I lost every time. But it was still a good time.

We tried to visit Cooper's Rock State Park, but it was closed.

On New Year's Eve we decided to stay in and enjoy the new year as a foursome rather than out and about. So, we had a "game-a-thon." We played every board game imaginable, created an obstacle course in the basement, played "Five Dollars" out in the cold, had a rousing game of hide-n-seek, broke out the old school Nintendo, had a picture taking contest, among other things. It was such a blast.

May I suggest to all of you - take some time to act like a kid again. It is so wonderful to forget about responsibility for awhile and to put aside all reservations and "adult-like" formality. Goof off! Play hide-n-seek with your 28 year old brother or even with your children. Play some of the games that you have not played in years. It feels like travelling back in time. I really enjoyed that.

Now, we are alone. Our guests have made the three hour trip home. But it was such a good time. We might have to make a tradition out of this.

Happy New Year

2008-01-08T07:31:00.000-08:00

I've been so absent from this blog lately. But with good reason!

My brother-in-law and his wife came into town right after Christmas and stayed to celebrate the new year with us. I am planning a HUGE post (with pictures) about the fun we had. I promise you, it is not to be missed. :)

-------

In other news, I am now the proud owner of an elliptical. Two to be exact. I ordered one and when it arrived, it was broken - severely. We only found out after we spent three hours putting it together. So, I called and asked to have another one shipped. We were told to wait to send in the old one until the new one arrived - then we should call them back to arrange pick-up. When I did that, no one would answer the phone... so now we are stuck with two.

My hopeful new years resolution: Drop 15 pounds by bathing suit season.

My "will-happen" new years resolution: Finish the new ms I've been working on. My original intent was to make it a chapbook... but now I think It's going to be bigger than that.

I'm finally in the Christmas Spirit.

2007-12-23T21:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight was the family Christmas Party. These parties make me think of my childhood - they make me happy.

When I was young, we had the party at my Aunt's house. Me and my cousins, who are like siblings to me, would sing into candles and pretend that we were movie stars. We would open a couple presents and play and play. Food was on every surface in the house and we would munch for hours.

Things are a little different now -- The party is at my mother's house, it is much smaller, but still fun. My cousins have children, my "nieces" and "nephew." They run around the house, eating everything in sight, playing and playing, enjoying each other's company.

Children make Christmas. Their little feet running around the house. Their little laughs. Their smiles when they open their gifts.

Tonight, I am very thankful.

Fatty Fatty the Lion King Dog King 1992 - 12/13/2007 RIP

2007-12-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

We love you Fatty! You were the best dog anyone could own. You were always so happy - even in sickness. It was so hard to see you go, but I'm glad that you aren't in any pain. We will miss your silly personality and your happy smile.

Brushing it off.

2007-12-07T10:40:00.000-08:00

-There is a lot of snow on the ground. The roads are not safe. The roads are not cleared. It stopped snowing two days ago.
-How I wish I could evaluate my students based on attitude. I have a student who attends regularly, does all of the work, gets A+ grades and has the WORST attitude I've ever come across in my academic career. Worst.

Writing Mood

2007-12-05T07:33:00.000-08:00

I feel like writing. This helps.

"pyramid Song" by Radiohead

Forgot to say Thanks.

2007-11-30T08:56:00.000-08:00

I was away for Thanksgiving and forgot to post the things I am most thankful for.

1. I have a wonderful husband. He treats me with respect and cares about me more than any other person ever has. I am so grateful that we have so much in common. It's scary, even our childhoods were similar -- and we grew up 250 miles away from each other. I'm also grateful that we do the same work. It's nice to have someone who understands what you do for a living and can truly respect it.

2. I have a fantastic family. And not just the family I was born into - the family I married into also. Everyone is fun to be around and easy to talk to.

3. I have a job. Even though it is part time. Even though it is time consuming. Even though I complain a lot at this time in the semester. I have a job. I am not working in the food service industry anymore. And I am on my way up.

4. I have a wonderful cat who I love like a child. I am thankful that I picked him out of all the kitties I could have chosen.

5. I am thankful for my sight. I have to be. Bad eyesight runs in my family. My mom is legally blind, so is my brother, so are my aunt and two cousins, so was my grandpa... etc. It is a genetic condition - I am lucky to see at all.

6. I am healthy... most of the time. Things could be worse, and since they aren't... I'm thankful.

Today

2007-11-26T11:12:00.000-08:00

-I am feeling sick.
-I let my anger get the best of me.
-I feel detached.
-I want to be in bed.
-I want to quit me for a while.

Who is your hero?

2007-11-18T21:37:00.000-08:00

This month holds my birthday, my brother's birthday and my sister's birthday, so I am, of course, reminiscent lately.

I've often been asked, "Who is your hero?" and my answer has not changed since I was three years old. -- My brother. Period.

My brother is, without a doubt, my hero, my role-model, my heart, the type of man that I hope my child will grow up to be. He has exhibited more strength in his 23 years than most men do in 75.

When Joey was born, his vision was nonexistant. He was completely blind. I was three when he was born, and I was suddenly caught up in a tornado of events that will stick with me forever. My family travelled daily to Pittsburgh Children's Hospital, approximately two and a half hours away, for iffy doctor visits and little hope. We were very lucky because a pediatric eye doctor, Dr. Hiles, came out of retirement to work on Joey. My parents were willing to try anything - and when they found out about a highly experimental surgery that could give their son limited vision, they decided to try it out.

My brother was the first infant to receive an epikeratophakia, in other words - he received donor corneas. Joey was lucky, he received three different corneas because one operation failed. Corneas are hard to get from donors and the odds of him receiving one were slim, let alone three.

By the time Joey was three years old he endured 21 operations on his eyes and could see! He had another surgery when he was seven to cut a muscle to stop his eyes from crossing. The surgeries resulted in a lazy eye - but he can see.

My parents often talk about the first time they realized the surgeries were successful. Joey was sitting in his baby seat in the living room and my father was walking into the kitchen with a balloon in his hand. My brother looked at the balloon and followed it as my father moved. Needless to say, my dad walked back and forth for hours, crying and laughing while Joey watched the balloon in amazement.

---

As I mentioned, Joey's birthday is this month. He will be 23. He is still legally blind. I can't remember the numbers exactly, but his vision is something like 20/400 in one eye and worse 20/600 in the other - what this means is that what the average person can see at 400 or 600 feet, Joey must be at 20 feet to see. It's poor - but he can see. And he never complains.

Joey does everything on his own. He plays his video games, he has a good job, he walks all over town. Obviously, he cannot drive, but he doesn't let that stop him. He gets around like anyone - even better than most. And other than cracking a joke now and then, I've never heard him complain.

He's been teased and tormented by children when he was younger and still he never buckled. He never felt sorry for himself, never cried, never said "why me?" or "I hate this." He is so strong.

And you would think his trouble would stop at his eyes - NO! He also has a condition that causes tumors to occur occassionally. A few years ago, he complained of chest pains. My parents took him to the ER and he was XRayed. The doctors sent him on his way and said he was suffering from pleurisy.

A day or two later, the phone rang. A doctor who had never even met Joey stumbled across his xrays and found a spot. They called him in for more testing. It was a tumor.

The tumor was very close to his spinal column, so a neurosurgeon was called in to handle the operation. The doctor had to remove a portion of his rib to take the tumor out - but out it came. The surgery was a major one - it was scary and risky. But again, Joey dealt with it. No tears, no complaints. The tumor was malignant in the center. No tears, no complaints. Luckily, the cancer had not spread and was contained in the tumor. Joey had to go back for monthly visits, then bi-monthly, and now yearly. Still, no complaints.

A while later, he had a tumor removed from his lip. It was nothing serious, but still a nuissance.

And Joey could sit on his butt and do nothing. He could whine, he could say he was incapable of working, and he would have a right. No one would care if he did those things. We would feel like he had a reason to do nothing and to be sad. But he doesn't sit on his butt. He works seven days a week. He just had a nice date the other night. He has fun with his family. He plays games, he's goofy, he's funny, he's super smart. He never ever bemoans his situation.

I don't believe I have that strength. I don't know many people that do. I whine about everything. I complain about my job. I complain about my food. I complain about my finances. I complain because I had to have one surgery. I complain because I can't have children. I've let my problems beat me down - I cry, I feel sorry for myself, I wish I was someone else sometimes. And then I think about Joey. I think about my hero.

He is the true definition of a man. He deserves everything good. He deserves a life filled with good things.

-------

And so I ask, Who is your hero? And why?

A dose of HaHa

2007-11-16T11:14:00.000-08:00

I love LOLcats.

Birthweekend

2007-11-12T22:04:00.000-08:00

I was dreading my birthday this year... I could feel it sneaking up on me. This is unusual. I am usually very excited about my birthday and regardless of what happens, I feel excited and refreshed. But somehow, I just felt different this year. I say that I feel old... but it wasn't even that so much. I just wasn't excited about it this year - and that alone made me sad, because I really wanted to enjoy it.

The day before my birthday one of my chinchillas passed away. He was my first and favorite -- so I was very upset to find out he was gone. I cried for a long time. Thankfully, Nicholas spent a good amount of that time beside me, just there. Sometimes that is the best remedy. I didn't need him to say anything, I just needed his physical presence to help me feel better.

I was, needless to say, convinced that my birthday was going to be worse than ever at this point.

-----

Thankfully, my actual birthday was very nice. I spent the day with my family - no party, no craziness, just a mellow day. It turned out to be very relaxing.

Nicholas and I planned to go out for a nice dinner on my birthday, but on our way there we realized it was not going to work. There was a big football game that night and the traffic was horrible, so we got off the interstate and headed home. We decided to go out to dinner the next night.

On Friday, we went to Solera Cafe in Morgantown. It was AMAZING! I've never really had such a fine dining experience. The plating was beautiful and the food tasted superb - not to mention, the serving sizes were very generous. It was expensive, but it was worth it for the experience. I hope to go back soon to try the trout.

-----

Unfortunately, I woke up Saturday very sick. I could barely function. I took some medicine and was out for the weekend.

I need to stay awake.

2007-11-04T21:45:00.000-08:00

I'm very interested in these photos "taken at just the right time." The diver is another one of my favorites... and don't even get me started on the hilarity factor of that last picture.

-----

Are you unsure of which political candidate you should side with? Glass Booth is pretty interesting. My results were exactly what I expected them to be.

-----

I am procrastinating. There is a stack of papers waiting to have my scribbles all over them and I just can't talk my wrist into the work.

-----

Today was my sister's birthday. She is eighteen now. She is the youngest of the children in my family. There is such a wide age difference between the two of us, and now I feel very old.

Another thing that makes me feel old. I was walking along the sidewalk the other day and a random person stopped me and asked "Excuse me, are you a professor here? I really need to ask someone who teaches here a question." I was mortified that she could tell I was a teacher - I wasn't doing anything unusual... just walking in the direction of one of the buildings... like the 20,000 other people around me. I used to be mistaken for just another student, but alas, no more.

My birthday is on Thursday... that is yet another reason I feel old.

-----

I think I'm going to just go to bed. I will grade tomorrow.

Brrrrring back summer

2007-10-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

It is very cold.

Today, there was frost on the windshield of my car, and in the yard.

Why is my car parked outside when I have a two car garage? Because the garage door is on the fritz and has not been fixed yet.

And there is half a tree laying in our front yard. Lightning struck it and half is still standing.

The English department is still running the air conditioning. My office is an ice-cube.

Have you ever...

2007-10-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a small office, I'm talking 8'x8'?

Have you ever had that small 8x8 office crammed full with a computer, desk, three chairs, a bookshelf, a trash can and a recycling bin?

Have you ever found that you can't even open the door if the chairs are not pushed under the desk?

Have you ever had to sit within twelve inches of someone when they come to visit you in said office?

Have you ever had someone come to visit just to say they have a severe case of scabies and will not be in class because it is highly contagious?

Have you ever freaked out and googled everything there is to know about scabies and how they are passed from one person to the next because your office is so small and you were practically breathing in your visitor's exhales?

Have you ever wanted to yell at that visitor for not just sending an email?

Slam Bam thank you ma'am.

2007-10-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

While reading Karen's blog about Slam Poetry, I was reminded of my first encounter with Slam Poetry.

As an undergraduate I found out about a "Poetry Slam" that was being held at a local bar. I had never heard of a slam before and the flier that I read said "Come read your poetry for a chance to win $$$" It was immediately settled. I had never read my work to anyone other than my classmates in workshop courses, so I couldn't wait to hit the stage and shmooze with other writers who loved poetry as much as I did. I was perfectly content with the idea of meeting other young poets in such a laid back atmosphere. I couldn't wait to discuss the new Molly Bendall book that I had just read with another woman poet.

I put on my prettiest dress, wore heels, curled my hair, printed a copy of the poem that I wanted to read and hit the door. As soon as I walked in, I knew something was wrong. I knew it was in a bar, but I expected the crowd to be much different. No one was in a dress. No one was in yellow, or pink, or purple, or blue. I saw a couple guys in white t-shirts and everyone else was in black. My baby blue dress started to feel like a flashlight in the dark room. Everyone watched as I put my two dollars in the donation jar and walked into the other room.

I still convinced myself that things would start to change as time passed. After the first girl screamed at the top of her lungs and the second girl hopped from one end of the stage to the other, neither with paper in their hands, I contemplated leaving. But I couldn't. I stuck around. The next person, a young boy, took the stage (with no paper) and almost rapped a poem that lasted twenty minutes. I thought for sure he was making it up on the spot - but I heard a girl behind me whisper "I've heard him do this one before, it never gets old. He'll win for sure." Person after person performed... person after person received 8s, 9s and 10s from the judges.

And then it was my turn... I timidly walked up the stairs and stood at the microphone. I unfolded my paper and tried with all my might to read my short poem about water with as much emotion as possible. No one clapped. No one screamed. No one cheered or chanted. The judges raised their 5s and 4s and I quietly walked down the stairs.

And, although I was embarrassed for not doing my research about "Slams." I was happy to have read my work. And, I was happy to learn about this "other world" of poetry.

Needless to say, I didn't win. And whisper girl was right, the twenty minute poem guy walked out with 54 dollars or something like that.

I haven't been to a slam since, but I would like to go again sometime, but only as a spectator.

Whew.

2007-10-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

I feel that old urge to write. In the past week I've written five new poems. This is fantastic, because prior to that, I haven't really written much this year.

----

So, I've felt the urge to run lately. I ran a couple weeks ago, farther than I've ever run before. However, I paid for it the rest of that week. And now, when I am ready to get back in the saddle and run some more, I have pains in my chest. I am slightly afraid to work out now because I don't know what is causing the pain.

----

Speaking of pain - my sister, who works for a fast food restaurant, was cleaning the restrooms last night and hurt herself. I guess the floor was slippery and she went to change the men's trash-can and while she was reaching for it, she fell and slammed her jaw into the sink. She is going to have X-Rays at the dentist today.

In Rainbows

2007-10-12T08:51:00.001-07:00

Radiohead has a new CD out. What's awesome about it is this: You can either buy the cd ... or ... you can download the CD. They charge you whatever you want to pay. $1, $10, $6,000.

So. If you like Radiohead, go buy the record.

Unrest

2007-10-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

I feel like I can't settle down. I believe that being adjunct is terribly unhealthy. I never feel permanent anymore. Everything is constantly changing - I teach at a community college in Ohio, I teach at a state University in West Virginia, I teach Comp I, Comp II, then Developmental Writing, then online, then in the classroom --- I'm all over the place. I can only hope that this "all-overness" is going to help me earn a full-time position somewhere soon.

----

I believe that applying for said full-time positions is also unhealthy.

The process itself is very frustrating - and the part that I hate the most: References! It's not that I'm anti-social, because I'm not. I just hate asking people to be a reference for me. I feel like it is putting them in an awkward situation. It isn't so bad when it comes to Comp position applications - I have several people that I can run to for Comp references.

Creative Writing references are the worst. I don't know if I should use the same references - because they can't really say much about my poetry or my ability to teach it. They can only really comment on my rhetoric and composition abilities. I have poet friends - but they haven't seen me teach. And most of them, I haven't met in person, so I don't feel that it would be beneficial to ask them. And, I certainly don't think it's ethical to use my husband, who is a teacher and writer, who has seen my writing and my teaching. I wish I could... but...

*sigh*

I just want to eat. A lot.

An actual interaction I just had with a student:

2007-10-05T08:47:00.000-07:00

Male Student: *knocks at door and comes in* Hey.

Me: Hey. (Long Pause) Can I help you with something?

Student: Uh. Yeah. Could you look over my paper and tell me if it's right.

Me: You know that the rough draft for this paper was due two weeks ago and I've already commented and passed them back to everyone, right?

Student: Yeah. Could you look it over?

Me: You know that according to my policy, you can't receive credit for late work, right?

Student: Yeah. Could you look it over?

Me: Here, let me take a quick look. (I looked it over, told him what elements were off and then expected our "conference" to be over)

Student: (Standing now, in the doorway) Hey.

Me: Yeah?

Student: How many absences do I have? Please say three and not four. I don't want penalized for the fourth absence.

Me: Let me check. Well, my gradebook says you have three, but I haven't put Mondays attendence in yet. Were you here on Monday?

Student: Yeah, of course.

Me: Let me check the attendance sheet that I passed out just to be sure.

Student: Oh. Maybe I wasn't here.

Me: Nope, I don't have you down. That means you have four absences. You understand the attendance policy, right?

Student: Yes. Can I make up days? Can we meet or something so I can get credit for attendance?

Me: (Dumbfounded...) Um. No. I'm sorry, you cannot meet with me on a separate day to receive an attendance credit.

Student: I don't have the heart to ask you this other question.

Me: What?

Student: I don't think I'm going to be in class today. Can I complete the assignment at home.

Me: (Extremely dumbfounded...) No. I'm sorry. You realize that class starts in only 20 minutes. Why don't you come and complete the assignment?

Student: My ex-girlfriend has a tumor in her face.

Me: I'm sorry to hear that.

Student: So, I shouldn't miss today?

Me: That's up to you, but you will then have five absences which means your letter grade will drop twice at the end of the semester. And, you will miss the twenty point activity that we are doing in class.

Student: Bye.

---------

*sigh* This is my life.

---------

In other news, I thought you might like this:

This September

2007-10-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

I avoided the bees and their thin, plasticky wings.

I avoided grading, until the last minutes.

I avoided writing something fantastic.

I avoided ms. revision and its thin, plasticky prison.

I avoided MS. deadlines.

I will not avoid October's.

------

Today, October 2nd is our four month anniversary. We have still not received our DVDs.

I guess the videographer is avoiding me.

"Hole-y" cow...

2007-09-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

While mowing my lawn recently, I came upon a large expanse of leaves that had fallen from the trees. As I mowed over them, I saw that there were some type of flying insects hovering very closely to the leaves. Since they flew away as I got close enough to get a better look, I figured they were flies and that they were circling some deer excrement. We have loads of deer in our yard, and as I mow I sometimes catch a whiff of what they leave behind. I didn't give it another thought.

On my way back up the hill, I looked to my right and noticed a very LARGE hole in the ground. I decided just then that I would not try to mow over it because the riding mower may get stuck. But, curiosity got the better of me and I had to find out what lived there. I put the mower in park and went to check it out. I figured that it must be a nest for some large rodent, probably a prairie dog, groundhog, etc.

As I approached the hole, I noticed there were a lot of those same flying bugs around the hole... but when I got closer, I quickly realized that they were not flies. Instead, there were smooth yellow and black bees zig-zagging all around the hole. When I got right over the hole, I realized it was a bees nest. There were hundreds inside the hole. I couldn't even tell how deep the hole was because of all the bees. I, of course, immediately got back on the mower and retreated.

I've never heard of a bees nest in the ground. I've seen them in trees, along buildings, in wood, but never in the ground.

Our neighbor keeps honeybees, and we had a hornets' nest in the trees about an acre down the hill in the front yard -- so my first thought is that the bees might be one of these two varieties. But the bees seem flat and smooth, not round and hairy. I have no idea what they are. If anyone can help me out here, I would be more than thankful. I'm very worried that they are yellowjackets.

I went back the the hole later and snapped a couple pictures. There weren't as many bees in the hole this time, but there were a couple and there were scads of them buzzing around me while I snapped away. I think the mower must have made them all retreat to the entrance, because there were so many the first time. Here's a picture of the hole, and a picture of the bees (if you can make them out. I zoomed in on one of the hole pictures to get a closer look.)

Help!

bit o' blues

2007-09-19T11:20:00.001-07:00

I've hit a wall.

.

I want to revise my entire ms. but I don't know what direction I want to go anymore.

Breaker

2007-09-13T16:13:00.000-07:00

So, I've been noticeably absent from the blog-world lately. I have gone back and forth with myself about just giving up the blog or keeping up with it. I guess for the time being, I'm going to stick with it.

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Today, I felt true comfort. I am beginning a celebrity-bed fund.

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I came this close (I am making a little pinch with my fingers) to buying a kitty brother for Kitsch. I think I would name him Sink. I can't quite convince myself that it is the best idea - even though my heart melts every time I see the little guy.

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What have I been up to?
-Holding a good friend's beautiful baby girl.
-Grading 90 papers. (I should only have 88, but I have one person auditing a class, and an extra person in my early class).
-Shopping for furniture and dreaming about the celebrity-bed
-Running errands for my family.
-Watching Big Brother 8 -- I seriously dislike Danielle, she's far too whiny for a grown-up woman. Zach made the biggest mistake when he didn't choose to save Eric with the POV. Both Dick and Danielle would be gone by now.
-Having one killer migraine and a few migrainlets.
-Waiting and waiting and waiting for our first paycheck.
-Considering this blog.

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As of a couple years ago Low is my favorite band, and from what I've heard of their new CD - it's just as good as all the others. You should probably be listening to it right now.

The FUNNIEST thing you will see all day!!!

2007-08-25T11:20:00.002-07:00

I laughed so hard I cried when I watched this on TV last night. I am still giggling.

Time for relaxation.

2007-08-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

Well, we are officially moved in. We still aren't quite finished unpacking, though the finish line is in sight.

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I feel like this move was good for me. I've already written a poem since the move. That makes me feel confident about being able to get work done. I have my own office now, so I can retreat there for sewing and writing. I still do the bulk of my actual teaching work in front of the television.

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I don't quite have internet just yet. We are supposed to be getting satellite internet, but the people won't come install it. We've been waiting a couple weeks.

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I bought some beautiful vintage fabric at a yard sale. My office is going to be (when finished) chocolate brown and mustard yellow. The fabric matches perfectly and I can't wait to make pillows.

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Have you checked out Three Candles Journal yet? If not, you should.

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More later, once I am a little more rooted in the new place and have a stable internet connection.

The green green carpet of home.

2007-07-24T13:36:00.001-07:00

Is that the sweet hum of a moving truck I hear?

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I feel like I've packed six hundred boxes and I still have an entire kitchen, office and bedroom to pack.

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I can almost taste my mother's lasagna.

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Anyone have any decorating tips for green carpet? I'm going to have to live with it for a little while -- we won't be changing it right away.

Your daily dose of HaHa.

2007-07-23T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is a very funny website. Some very famous poems re-written as limericks. :)

NEVER ever buy a Chrysler.

2007-07-16T11:40:00.000-07:00

DON'T DO IT! Don't buy a Chrysler!

Mine doesn't even have 60,000 miles on it and I have to have my transmission rebuilt. On top of this, I've just had to replace the brakes and rotors. I also need to replace the bushings of my control arm and do some other things to the car.

N owned a Chrysler previously and he too had to have his transmission completely rebuilt soon after he purchased the car.

No matter how beautiful they may be - Chrysler makes HORRIBLE automobiles.

On the road again

2007-07-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have ever travelled this much in such a short amount of time in my life. We went to WV a couple weekends ago to find a house. Last weekend we went into WV for a family member's wedding. This weekend we are travelling again.

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I was tagged by Amanda to list the five books that I would want with me if I were stranded on a desert island. I won't mention books by friends (even though there are a couple that would be good reads on a desert island)

In no particular order:
1. Lark Apprentice by Louise Mathias -- A fantastic book. I could read it over and over again, truly.
2. Cascadia by Brenda Hillman -- I knew when I started this list that I wanted a Brenda Hillman book... I just wasn't sure which one. I think I would choose Cascadia because I feel like it is the one book of hers that I need to spend more time with. I love it... but I don't love it as much as some of her other books. It would do me good to be alone with it for awhile.
3. Ariadne's Island by Molly Bendall -- I mean... Helloooo? I'm on an island... hoping someone is going to come back for me... I could really commiserate with this book (not to mention, I just like it a lot)
4. Landscapes I and II by Lesle Lewis -- I got a review copy of this book for the plain and simple fact that I wanted to write a review of an author that I was unfamiliar with. When I received it... I was BLOWN AWAY!!! This book is haunting and strange and simply beautiful. I would definitely want it with me.
5. The Bible by a lot of people and God -- I know, this seems like cheating... but really - a lot of it is interesting. It's very very long, so I could waste a lot of time reading it... and, if I am going to die on that deserted island, me and God need to be on good terms.

Maybe I should take one of these along for the trip.

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WooHoo...

2007-07-11T21:59:00.001-07:00

I am a Maggie Bride! It makes me feel a little bit like a celebrity. :) I should have been wearing my shades.

I can't pick a favorite room.

2007-07-08T22:24:00.001-07:00

If you are visiting Berlin, Germany - you simply must stay at Propeller Island City Lodge and let me know how it is. The rooms are fantastic... when you click the link, you can view each room by clicking on the next number. They are all different and very very unique. I'm thinking this would be a great stop off for the "one"ymoon.

I'm Walkin'

2007-07-04T14:56:00.000-07:00

I just got back home from a lovely power-walk. I'm really proud of myself. I have been constantly sick for some time now and I've decided that if I want to be healthy, I have to act healthy. A few days ago, I went on a 4 1/2 mile walk. Yesterday, I walked two miles. Today, I put on my yoga gear and power-walked three miles. I've lost four pounds since the wedding. I'm very pleased about that. I just found this great route to walk - I'm really going to miss it when I move. But, I will find someplace else to push my tush. I'm thinking I'll probably walk along the rail-trail. It's very pretty - and I won't have to worry about cars... just bicycles.

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We found a place to live. We are IN LOVE with this house, so in love that we have discussed possibly buying it should we stay in the Morgantown area. The house is actually about 8 miles away from campus - in a nice little hollow (a.k.a. "holler"). The house sits on 12 acres of land, 5 of which is our responsibility to keep mowed, etc. The remaining land is woods, so we won't have to do much of anything there. The house is h.u.g.e. We have so much more space. There are three bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms (one of which has a JACUZZI tub!!!), a sunroom, a dining room, a two car garage, etc. etc.

We looked at so many junk places in town... and we were pretty discouraged. This was the last place we went to and we weren't expecting much. But when we saw it, we knew we had to have it.

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I'm so happy today.

Eight things about me.

2007-06-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Steve to list eight things about myself. So, here goes:

1. I always have the volume of the television set to a multiple of five. If it is on any other type of number, it drives me mildly insane. (If I do any type of workout, etc. it has to be done in multiples of five).

2. I have fibromyalgia in my upper back, neck and shoulders. I have had it since I was 16 and don't know how to get rid of it. My shoulders literally hurt on a constant basis. I've learned to deal with it.

3. I used to be a waitress at a 50's and 60's diner. I wore poodle skirts and cat-eye glasses and a red scarf around my neck (or in my hair) to work every day.

4. I hate trash cans and hold my breath when I pass one on the street. If I touch one, I have to immediately wash my hands or I feel like I am filthy.

5. I used to dye my hair funky colors. My hair has been orange, burgundy, blonde, white (for a very brief time) and numerous shades of red and brown.

6. I went to a very strange private school when I was younger. We worked at our own pace - and taught ourselves from small books. We had no instructor. If I hadn't left, I would have graduated high school at the age of 14.

7. I have a hairless cat named Kitsch. He is my child.

8. For those of you who do not know - my husband is also a poet.

I'll go ahead and tag Julie and Tony.

A strange countdown (up?)

2007-06-26T23:34:00.001-07:00

I'm spending a lot of time thinking about this.

2007-06-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

The house hunt has me feeling anxious.

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Is it bad that I haven't written a poem in a couple months?

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I've been tagged to list some oddities about myself. I am going to do that soon.

2007-06-21T19:56:00.000-07:00

Perhaps...

UPDATE!!!!!

The journey begins:

Wow.

camera

MIA

Happy Mother's Day

RIP Craig Arnold

Help Find Craig Arnold

Worlds Smartest Dog?

wow.

Updates:

loving them lately...

Pita Pit tried to kill me...

Today was:

Migraines... Medicine... Bad Dreams... Oh, my!

Pointing you in the right direction

Why I wish I were in USC's marching band:

Textbook Help...

Wow.

Happy Belated New Year...

Just sharing...

What is playing on my I-Tunes right now:

Giving Thanks

No

A Post Halloween Horror Story

Meet Face

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a collector of things.

Anamorphic Illusions...

Best first line of an essay ever...

Mmmmm Mmmmm....

The perfect summer song...

Poets Beware:

Headaches, Weird Dreams, and the End of Summer

country mouse in the city

Radiohead

two days to Radiohead

Ugh... Moving.

What a wild summer.

This day last year...

Oh, Ohio.

Sugar Ray King 11/26/1990 - 05/08/2008 RIP

Last Flowers 'til the Hospital

more church reflections

Better than a bowl of wheaties.

Ripping off the bandage...

Music to grade by

Hey!!!

What I need is a nice, warm shower and a cup of tea.

Yep... definitely buying that recycling bin.

I'm buying a recycling bin.

Spring break begins in one hour

weekend at the hospital.

A little thought...

2:00am Ramblings

Garfield without Garfield.

What a week!!!

On my "to submit" list:

14 of the 365 reasons that I love you

Flashdance

*whistle*

I'm Guilty

The crazy one.

Resolution for everyone: Goof Off!

Happy New Year

I'm finally in the Christmas Spirit.

Fatty Fatty the Lion King Dog King 1992 - 12/13/2007 RIP

Brushing it off.

Writing Mood

Forgot to say Thanks.

Today

Who is your hero?

A dose of HaHa

Birthweekend

I need to stay awake.

Brrrrring back summer

Have you ever...

Slam Bam thank you ma'am.

Whew.

whistle